A man walks into a Doctor’s office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. “What’s the matter with me?” he asks. “You’re not eating properly,” replies the Doctor.
If a retrospective claims reviewer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
Insurance Companies who refuse to reimburse for Glucose Monitoring Strips Take Note! An unnamed manufacturer of blood glucose meters is about to announce the development of a major breakthrough in medical care: a new meter that can measure blood caffeine levels. This innovative device is due for release on April 1st. The “CoffeeMeter” will utilize …
Managed Care Finds Cure for Diabetes; Endocrinologists Take the Plunge Declaring diabetes mellitus non-existent, managed care companies nation-wide have managed to wipe out diabetes throughout the United States, it was announced today. It was explained that any patient insisting that they have diabetes will be re-diagnosed as having paranoia, and hence will be ineligible for …
News Flash: “Doctors at a large managed care network gone on strike. Managed Care Officials say they will find out what the Doctors’ demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs.”
An ophthalmologist, a priest and an HMO CEO were waiting to tee off at their local country club. Two guys in front of them were stumbling around, hitting balls in all directions, swinging and missing and in general holding up the whole show. The club pro happened to walk by and the three called him …
A man walking into a hospital notices a prominent surgeon and his surgical resident down on their hands and knees digging in one of the flower beds. He goes over to them and asks, “Can I help? Did you lose something?” “No,” says one of the surgeons, “We’re about to do a heart transplant on …
At a scientific research convention one researcher remarks to another, “Did you know that in our lab we have switched from lab rats to managed care reviewers for our experiments?” The other asked, “Why the switch?” “Three reasons,” he replied, “First we found that these reviewers have become far more plentiful, second, the lab assistants …
Switched from Lab Rats to Managed Care Reviewers Read More »
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Want to hear an actuary joke?” The guy next to him replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I’m 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and I’m an actuary. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2″ …
An actuary and an underwriter are watching the eleven o’clock news. A story comes on involving a man on a window ledge threatening to jump. The underwriter says, “I’ll bet you fifty bucks he doesn’t jump.” The actuary says, “I’ll take that bet.” A few minutes later the guy jumps. As the underwriter reaches for …