Last night as I lay sleeping, I died or so it seemed,
Then I went to heaven, but only in my dream.
Up there St. Peter met me, standing at the pearly gates,
He said “I must check your record, please stand here and wait.”
He turned and said “Your record Is covered with terrible flaws,
On earth I see you rallied for every losing cause.
I see that you drank alcohol and smoked and used drugs too,
Fact is, you’ve done everything a good person should never do.
We can’t have people like you up here, your life was full of sin,”
Then he read the last of my record, took my hand and said “Come in.”
He lead me up to the big boss and said “Take him in and treat him well,
He used to work in Insurance, he’s done his time in hell.”