The other day my house caught fire. The insurance agent said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” Insurance agent frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.” Apparently, the only way I can make a claim with this coverage is if the house …
Two women are playing golf when one of them ask the other, “Do you and your husband have mutual climax?” The other woman replies, “No, I think we have State Farm.”
There’s a new insurance policy written especially for Jewish mothers. It’s called the “My Fault” policy.
A traveler wandering on an island inhabited entirely by cannibals comes upon a butcher shop. The shop specialized in human brains differentiated according to source. The sign in the shop read: Actuary’ Brains … $9/lb Loss Control Brains … $12/lb Underwriters’ Brains … $15/lb Claims Adjusters’ Brains … $33/lb Insurance Executives’ Brains … $87/lb Life …
A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against …. get this …. fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous cigars, and having yet to make a single premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In …
After many years at sea, a pirate decided to retire. Since he had suffered injuries on the job, he thought that he should collect on his worker’s compensation insurance. He had a wooden leg, a hook where his right hand should be and a patch over his right eye. The agent assured him that he …
An HMO accounts clerk had a cabin in the West Virginia mountains and liked to go there for his frequent vacation times. Each summer, he would invite a different friend to spend a week or two up at his cabin. One particular summer, he invited a Czechoslovakian friend to stay with him. The friend agreed. …
The Bricklayer’s Insurance Claim Dear Sir: I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put “Poor Planning” as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by …
I asked an insurance broker how many producers he had working for him. He answered, “About half of them.”
Question: What do you get when you cross a monkey with an insurance broker? Answer: Nothing. There are some things that even a monkey won’t do.