Life Insurance Policies to 98 Year Olds
When a marketing officer asked an actuary why he recommended selling more life insurance policies to 98 year olds, the actuary replied, “According to our tables, very few of them die each year.”
Insurance Jokes, sorted into categories.
When a marketing officer asked an actuary why he recommended selling more life insurance policies to 98 year olds, the actuary replied, “According to our tables, very few of them die each year.”
A life actuary designed a new coverage “Senility Insurance”. He expected low claims because “If you remember that you have a policy, it is proof that you are not senile.”
Definition of a computer: An actuary with a heart.
Actuary talking: “There are three kinds of actuaries. Those that can count. And those that can’t.”
An actuary, an underwriter, and an insurance salesperson are riding in a car. The salesperson has his foot on the gas, the underwriter has his foot on the brake, and the actuary is looking out the back window telling them where to go.
Question; “What do actuaries use as contraceptives?” Answer: “Their personality.”
Question: “What is the difference between God and an actuary?” Answer: “God doesn’t think he’s an actuary.”
A skydiver is blown off-course and lands in a tree in a remote area. After dangling from branches for an hour, he spots a hiker walking by. “Excuse me,” yells the parachutist, “but could you tell me where I am?” The hiker looks up and says, “Yes, you’re twenty feet above the ground.” “Thank you,” …
Ask an actuary “What’s 2 + 2?” Response: “What do you want it to be?”
In Canada, there is a group of people who refuse to speak English. They’re called separatists and tend to live in Quebec. In the United States they’re called actuaries.