“Whoa there, just a minute, Julie, it doesn’t work like that. We will assess the value of the building and provide you with a new one of comparable worth.” the agent replied.

Julie, after a pause, said, “Well, in that case, I’d like to cancel the policy on my husband.”

I said, “Fire and theft.”

Insurance agent frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”

Apparently, the only way I can make a claim with this coverage is if the house is robbed WHILE it’s burning down.